Blog
Did you know that your brain and nervous system are constantly looking for protection and connection? We long for relationship, bonding, and intimacy, yet our limbic and reptilian brains scan for threat and safety 24/7. They track for perceived threats for our physical safety, but also for threats to our sense of belonging, self-image, or emotional integrity
What does it mean to be an integrated human? As humans we are incredibly resilient creatures with hearts, longings, fears, anxiety, perseverance and experiences of strong emotions and pain. We are multi-faceted and complex and yet the path to our healing can be very simple. Simple in theory and yet the application may require us to focus and commit to a larger story of our unique self and the collective unfolding.
Yesterday I was caught feeling the familiarity and stuckness of a well-worn cycle of longing. This longing has yet to take shape in the practical world. I see glimpses but I don’t abide in this place yet. How often do we sense a longing from deep within and find ourselves gently holding it like an exquisite hummingbird that startles us with her beauty as swiftly as she disappears?
We are all leaders. From executives, parents and teachers to the school bully, leaders of gangs and drug lords. How is that possible? Because every action we take, conscious or unconscious, influences those around us and elicits responses such as love, connectedness, creativity, entitlement, fear and rage.
I am a volunteer facilitator for a process called, Restorative Justice.
The roots of this process come from the lineage of tribal cultures and the practice of ‘council meetings’. On the surface, the intent is to provide an alternative to the criminal justice system, however, it’s laced with the profound impact of personal transformation, community building and healing.
“A leader is a decision maker”, rolls off the Colorado cowboy’s tongue as he began our puppy training class. During two hours of lectures and exercises I was continually struck by the parallel between his philosophy of building a relationship with animals through love, trust and respect and my view of the human’s journey to cultivate these same elements through building a nonjudgmental relationship with the mind.
What does it mean when life, as you’ve known it, suddenly changes in a blink of an eye and you find yourself dropped into the desert and the unknown? Or maybe it happens so slowly that you wake up to realize everything in your life has been dying for months or maybe even years. However you find yourself here, you are now standing at the threshold of realizing that what was previously so important to you no longer holds its place on the trophy shelves.
I recently participated in a Hakomi weekend; a somatic based mindfulness-training. The message I received in the stillness and quieting of my mind was, “Just rest. You will know when you need to know”. As my mind spun through the various scenarios in my life that ‘need’ tending or ‘fixing’, this voice stopped me in my tracks. What is most true is that any effort for me ‘to know‘ only prolongs my capacity to feel the gifts in my life right now.
To travel the terrain of an authentic leader requires a level of listening, witnessing and an open-heart similar to that of a Samurai. The unwritten Samurai code of conduct, is known as Bushido. The Bushido code holds that the true warrior must possess loyalty, courage, veracity, compassion, and honor as important, above all else. The samurai’s code is in honor of their masters and fellow warriors.
How do we create more freedom for ourselves and the planet? We are all leaders. From conscious executives, parents and teachers to serial killers and rapist. How is that possible? Because every action we take, conscious or unconscious, influences those around us and elicits many responses such as love, connectedness, creativity, fear and rage.
For much of my life I was caught in the web of what I call, ‘The Self-Improvement Campaign’. This ‘campaign’ is the false notion that somehow we are deficient. Therefore, in order to be happy, successful and belong we have to improve ourselves. In the process we compare ourselves to others and the ideas of who we think we should be. What we end up feeling is a disconnect on the inside.
